A little bit broken.

Note: This is a therapeutic blog post for me.  I write to release things in me, and this just needs to get out.  And as I start writing this, I don’t know where it’s going…kind of stream of consciousness going thing going here, so forgive any typos.

Sometimes there are things that just break you.  Break your mind.  Break your will.  Break your heart.

And then sometimes there are things that break all the different parts of you.  I remember when I got the call that mom had breast cancer…I tried to stay upbeat on the phone with her, but when I got off, I just sat down and…well, I just sat.  It felt like every part of me was just breaking.  Thankfully, I have a strong and amazing mom who didn’t let herself, or any of us who love her, feel like that long.  She was going to beat it, that’s just how it was.  And she did.  More than five years have passed and no sign of any return.

That’s kind of the way I feel with this whole situation with Iraq.  I’m invested, due to Iraqi friends and due to my work with The Great Need.  There have been lots of people that see the pictures and say, “That just breaks my heart.”  I don’t doubt that at all.

But I know that there are some, who truly are broken for these kids like I am.  When you see the pictures, then know the names, then hear the stories…it just breaks you a little bit.  Not just “broken hearted” but broken in your soul.  That when you see a little blonde haired, blue-eyed three year old girl at the grocery store, you think to yourself, “That looks like Nihal.”  Or you see a 10 or 11 year old girl with dark a dark complexion, you think “That could be Rana…how would Rana’s life be different if she were born in the US, instead of in Iraq.”

I think in some ways, this is how life is supposed to be.  A little bit broken.  The loss of a loved one, a family crisis, an illness, a broken relationship.  Once sin entered the picture of human existence, God could certainly still make life easy on us, make it so that there is no brokenness in our lives.  But I think God pulls us to Him through those moments.

I’ve seen it in my own life and in countless lives of teenagers I’ve worked with.  I’ve seen a middle school girl lose her mom and then watched as God pulled her to Him to heal that brokenness. And in the midst of the mess, He’s forming a masterpiece.

I love Ephesians 2:10.  I’ve heard sermons taught on this passage that use verse 10 as a “command” to go and do good works, but I see it as a promise.  One of the most amazing, earth shaking promises in the Bible.

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

We are God’s masterpiece.  How cool is that. From this mess, He’s made a masterpiece.  A masterpiece that can do the things He’s already set in motion.  From my brokenness, comes this “Humpty Dumpty put back together again” rebirth into something that can DO something.

I always hate to say things like “One of the problems with Christians today is…” because a) who am I to judge those things and b) I don’t want to be that guy.  And so I’ll say it like this:  I feel bad for those people who never allow themselves to be a little bit broken.  Sometimes God doesn’t give you a choice…sometimes He drops a bomb on you to break you.  But many times, He lets us choose to be broken or not.  And many, many people avoid it like the plague.  They walk away from things that might break their heart before they let it “get to them.”

I don’t believe that is “one of the problems with Christians today” so much as I believe it’s one of the things that Christians are just missing out on.  They’re missing out on the “Humpty Dumpty experience.”  The rebirth into something amazing.

I’ve heard from so many people say, “I don’t think God can really use me to do anything great.”  And while God can do anything He wants, I believe He wants to take a person’s brokenness, turn it into wholeness, then do something amazing.  And if people avoid the brokenness, then, who knows…maybe God won’t use them.  I think the “prosperity gospel” message has infiltrated our way of thinking…that God wants us to live in our perfect little houses, in our perfect little neighborhoods with no problems and no heartache and no hurt and no drama.

I’ll pass on that.  I’ll take the heartache, in the hope that as God puts me back together, that from those broken pieces, God makes a masterpiece that is able and willing to do the good things He has planned for me.

One thought on “A little bit broken.

  1. Pingback: Joyful Brokenness – Part I | A Stranger Here...

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